Hi, my name is Robyn and I’m Technology’s Bitch.

I’m only writing this because my phone and Internet are down. Time Warner Cable might as well have chopped off my right hand. They’ve rendered me useless. I can’t email, talk or connect to another human being besides my kids and they’re playing their DS. More importantly I can’t update my Facebook status. How will everyone know that I’m having Internet problems if I can’t share it with 100 plus of my closest friends? I am because I Twitter.

So here we are. You and me. Merely killing time until they’ve hooked me up, mainlined my addiction and fed my habit. Your hair looks very nice by the way and I do like that color on you.

My best friend Lips (I won’t go into details as to why she’s called that, suffice as to say that your imagined reasons are far better than the boring truth, so stick with those.) is also an Internet junkie. Lips and I type-talk everyday. More worrying we type laugh. Hahahahahahahahaha. Gone are the days where you’d need to hear a person’s giggle, see their smile or hear their laughter. Hahahahahahahaha is good enough. In fact it’s better. You can make yourself a cuppa tea midway through a type-laugh, do your hair, pluck your eyebrows. You don’t need to concentrate on the conversation. It’s funny, you’re having a laugh, your type-laugh says as much and you no longer look like Frida Kahlo. Love it. Hahahahahahahahaha.