Hands up all the ex pat South Africans who’ve had an American ask: “When you lived in Africa, did you have wild animals in your back garden?”. And then, go onto clarify that they are specifically wondering about lions. Right, I thought so. It’s not just me.
Now I don’t want to ruin any Henri Rousseauesque image you Americans have about living in South Africa. But I do feel we should clear some things up.
The only wild animals I had in my garden (beside my children) were small, guinea pig looking rodents called Dassies. It’s disappointing I know. You were hoping for at best a lion, at least a zebra. But let’s not negate the tiny Dassie. They are quite wild. And, I’m sure they can be ferocious and vicious when provoked, or when not looking like cute little Peter Rabbits. There were no giraffes or buck and I’m quite sure I would have noticed a Hippo.
Sorry.
I do have some good news for those of you who are, at this very moment, blocking all your South African friends from Facebook because they are obviously not as exotic as you had hoped. The Dassie is, in spite of the huge height difference, the African elephant’s closest living relative. So the truth wouldn’t be too playdough in structure for you to say: “ Some of my best friends are South African. They had elephants in their backyard.”
Some other things I would like to clear up while I have the forum.
I do not come from Britain, Australia or Canada. I sound nothing like them.
Thank you for saying you think my accent is cool. Back in South Africa I sound like Fran Drescher. Johannesburg is not near to Cape Town and no, I don’t know your South African friends who live there. I also don’t personally know Nelson Mandela although he does seem to have met or shook hands with someone who knows someone I know. Cricket is the greatest game ever played. And I do feel sad for you that, until now, you thought it was a little insect. It’s a sport. I swear. Look it up.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rock_Hyrax
love it!
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